Sunday, September 4, 2011

PEACE from Broken Pieces by Iyanla Vanzant

The title of this book matches the message in the book perfectly.  Most of us, if not all of us, carry around and pass on to the next generation rituals, behaviors, attitudes, perceptions and/or ideals that are unhealthy to our growth and development in other words ‘broken’.  Somebody has to stop it.  Someone has to have the courage to say ‘No More’.

In this book Ms. Vanzant address a few behaviors that are broken which are passed on through our pathology.  These behaviors have been ingrained in us from birth by our parents, grandparents, stepparents, aunts, uncles and maybe even other adult person who are close to you throughout your childhood years.  She explains how these continuous behaviors effect future generations and not in the most positive way.
Ms. Vanzant goes through her life from childhood and how it affected her relationships with men whether personal or professional, her relationships with her children, business relationships, friendships and the war with personal peace and self-respect.  As you read this book, you cannot help but put yourself in the different situations.  There will be at least one of the encounters which you will personally relate….’That is or was me’.

As I read this dissection of Iyanla’s life, there are a few opportunities for change and life lessons I took away (do not pass these behaviors into another generation).
  • Do not put others before Yourself - Lets remember Iyanla was a professional life coach.  It was her business to help people work their way through life challenges, and her reputation showed Ms. Vanzant was very good at her profession.  She cared more about others well-being than she did herself.  She could help other people with their pathology, self-esteem, etc., but she could not help herself.  She could not always see her own pathology was negatively affecting her life and the people around her.
  • Watch and Learn, Do not Repeat - Watch and learn from the persons whom are apart of your development (i.e. parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, stepparents.
  • Love Should Not Hurt - you do not accept abuse, physical or verbal.
  • Ask for what you want (do not be afraid) - If the person says ‘No’, it is ok.
  • Stop pleasing other people (including your parents).  Everyone is not going to like you all the time or maybe even ever.
  • If you feel something is not right (i.e. your instinct) - question it, stay away from it and do not repeat it.
  • Live your vision, not someone else.
  • Make sure you have supportive people in your life – do not be afraid to ask them for help (i.e. release your pride)
  • Have a spiritual guide
This is just some of the behaviors transferred through your pathology.  There are more behaviors inferred in this book.

What did you get from this book?

Read It...Lets Talk About It!!

Monday, March 2, 2009

Book Review - 'Not Easily Broken' By T. D. Jakes

This book was read by the book group called 'The Sisters of Excellence with Great Mind Associations' (SIGMA). 'Not Easily Broken' presents one of the most strenuous challenges in a marriage. After 15 years of marriage, you learn you do not really know your supposed 'lifelong' partner. Dave's love for his wife, Clarice, and his marriage is called for validation. Their marriage has been plagued with a difference of dreams, unsuccessful communication and different family expectations hindered by a meddlesome, insecure mother-in-law. Then a woman, Julie, and her son, Brice, entered their lives......

Did Dave handle his encounter as any man would? Was it validated? Was Clarice to blame for the chain of events that took place in their lives? Was anyone to blame? Did Julie's actions add to the challenges of Dave and Clarice's marriage? How has reality been presented in this book?

A question posed to you from SIGMA - SIGMA agrees that Dave ( the husband) always owes respect to her wife if or when he commits adultery (physically and emotionally). However, does Julie (the other women) owe any respect or responsibility or consideration to Dave's wife for her actions?

What are your thoughts on the book?